I really should take vitamins while I do this.
While the stats on my protein/fat/carb intake were good, they said, the canker sore could be due to the lack of vitamins and minerals. You’re not getting vitamin C or any anti-inflammatories.”
(They do interviews together and speak as one, which is helpful since they look and sound identical.) “You’re under stress because you’re eating a low-calorie diet. “You’re not getting any real vitamins or minerals or phytonutrients,” the Twins told me. The Nutrition Twins-to talk about what was happening to me. I told him the canker sore had gotten worse, so he set me up with a dietician-well, a set of Upper West Side sisters named Lyssie and Tammy Lakatos, a.k.a. “This may be the weirdest diet I’ve ever seen,” my trainer, Andrew, told me at the gym that morning. I went home alone and ate ice cream.Īfter five days on Halo Top, I had come to a point in my life that my younger self never thought I’d reach: I no longer wanted ice cream for breakfast. By the time Leo made his acceptance speech, everyone was happily drunk and loud. I, having left pint number five at home, had club soda. For the next three hours they drank frozen margaritas and ate truffle-lobster mac-and-cheese. However, by the time I arrived at the restaurant where my friends were watching The Golden Globes that night, my stomach was rumbling. By dinner, I’d had as much Stevia-fueled sweetness as my sugar-addicted taste buds could ever want. Eating ice cream instead of salad for lunch is awesome. I’m in good shape for a sedentary desk worker after hunching over a computer at 165 pounds for most of my late twenties, I’d now been pumping iron with a trainer for the past year and running on off days to compensate for my love of pizza and Kit Kats. My morning measurements showed 153.5 pounds and 15 percent body fat, with a 41” chest and 31” waist. (I do not have a microwave or a legitimate heater.) Would the Halo Top math truly add up in my favor? Or would the fact that it’s, you know, ice cream fatten me up despite the low calories? Would I get pimples from all that dairy? Would I shart during a work meeting?Īnyway, I would need to steal a spoon from the office or something, because what 30-year-old guy owns real silverware? I ended up putting the pint in front of a space heater for a few minutes and making out all right. I’ve had my brain electrocuted and body frozen, and now I would embark on a ten-day brain freeze. Last year, I ate at 11 pizza places in one day to contrast the “best of the best pizza in New York.” When I became vegetarian eight years back, it was for experiment's sake first, ethics second. Three years ago, I lived off of a tasteless chemical sludge drink called Soylent in order to fact-check its founder’s health claims. This would not be the first time I’d donated my body to personal scientific exploration. (And certainly never with hopes of getting skinnier.) I’d be eating nothing but ice cream. Flavors: Chocolate, Vanilla, Mocha Chip, Mint, Strawberry, and Birthday Cake.įor ten days, I would do what surely a number of homo sapiens (primarily World of Warcraft addicts) had done before-but never in the name of research. Contents: 50 pints of Halo Top ice cream. Which is why I soon found myself staring at a styrofoam crate in my living room from. That’s pretty much a supermodel diet, but with enough protein to support my 3-times-a-week weight-training regimen. But as a data geek with an incredible sweet tooth, I quickly did some math: By eating five pints of Halo Top a day, one would get a whopping 120 grams of protein, only 80 grams of carbohydrates, and a respectable 60 grams of fat-at only 1,200 calories. I ate a whole pint of chocolate in the parking lot.įor most health-conscious types, that would probably be the end of this story.
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